Would You Be Happy With an Allowance From Your Spouse?
It never ceases to surprise me the myriad of ways couples have of sharing their combined loot.
I’m from the school of thought that what’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is also mine. Kidding. Sort of.
In all seriousness my husband detests anything to do with the finances. I mean, he likes money and he likes to make money and he also likes to SPEND the money and as long as there’s cash available on his ATM card when he calls into 7-11 for a can of Pepsi or decides to treat himself to his eleventy-fifth million pair of joggers, he’s a happy little vegemite.
He is self-employed and has zero idea of exactly how much money we have, where it is located at any given time, what bills we have, how much is left on the mortgage or any other important adult facts. I have repeatedly had to tell him “Noooo, we bank with Westpac, NOT Commonwealth” when he is asked in my company.
And this can lead to problems. Because in addition to the eleventy-five million pairs of joggers he also likes to randomly buy things like a motorbike, or a ute, or he will announce that he’s spending ten grand on putting some super-dooper coating in the back of one of the tip trucks he runs “so stuff doesn’t stick” when I’m like WHAT THE FUCK….!!!
And if I ever get run over by a bus or lose my mental faculties anymore than I have already lost them, he’s in deep shit sorting out the whole mess; internet banking, passwords, identification numbers – say what?
I could, if I chose, squirrel away money in secret accounts, gamble it all away or withdraw every last cent and do a runner and it would be weeks before he even figured out what happened.
Lucky for him, I love him and none of that would ever happen.
The problem is, that I’M not very good with money. I suck shit at dealing with money. I mean, I know how much we have, and I know where it is, and what the bills are cause I DO IT ALL but I like to spend it too. Despite attempting and failing to create and stick to a budget and be sensible to any degree whatsoever I can be easily persuaded to drop everything and fly to Queensland, Hawaii or anywhere else remotely warm at the drop of a hat.
And when I get there, it’s exchange rates be damned, let’s hit the shops and out comes the credit card and I worry about how I’ll actually pay for it all when we get home.
I’m 99% certain that we could have been debt-free probably ten years ago; no mortgage, no truck payments and have a solid retirement portfolio nicely set aside if either of us knew what the hell we were doing OR, someone controlled our money for us.
I literally need someone to give us BOTH an allowance. There – that’s all you get, when it’s gone, it’s gone.
Which makes me wonder – in this day and age, are there spouses who do, literally hand out an allowance to one another if THEY are the ones in charge of the cash?
I think there are. I’m pretty sure my eldest son Chris has an allowance which includes lunch money and a slab of beer each week.
And then there’s the couples we know who have their own money. In separate accounts. And neither of them knows what the other one has and one pays for stuff like school fees and books and the groceries and the other one pays for the mortgage and car payments. And they both chip in towards holidays. I would HATE that.
There is no right and wrong and different things work for different people. Some people are great with money (I totes should have married an accountant) and others like us, are terrible in every sense of the word.
The one thing that would really irk me though, would be going from complete freedom in spending money whether it was from a joint or separate account, and then having to give up work to stay home and raise OUR children and being told “this is all you get, don’t ask for anymore”.