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Knicker-Tucking: The Rules According to Me!

Knicker_Tuck_1

 

I’m no expert, of course, but it seems to me that when it comes to fashion there is a very thin line between pulling off a look and looking spectatcular, and completely ballsing it up and looking like a complete dick.

Since I wrote My Impassioned Fashion Plea to Miranda Kerr last week, secret-knicker-tuckers have been contacting me in raptures that what they had thought was their guilty secret, is actually an Aussie phenomenon.  The long-legged and the hemmers and sewers aside, it seems that many of us, behind closed doors (and a fairly sizable amount of us in public) are doing the knicker-tuck when those damn maxi dresses are, well, just too damn maxi!

Now, far be it for me to judge, but it has come to my attention that…well…some amongst us have…let’s just say they may have misunderstood the concept of the knicker-tuck.  Now, since I brought this up, and we are all feeling a little more confident and daring in our knicker-tucking capabilities, I feel that I have a moral and social obligation to right this wrong.

There are two distinct breeds of knicker-tuckers who get my blessing. (For what it’s worth).

There is the mono-tucker.  This involves only hoisting one side of your dress and tucking it into your knickers at the side of your hip.  This works on two levels:  You get to see your feet, and add a slightly sexy edge to the ensemble.  I’m digging the mono-tuck.

Then there is your traditional dual-tuck.  This is preferable when carrying small children, pets or old people with incontinence issues up and down stairs.  We don’t want your foot getting caught in that hem – and falling.  The end result could be all kinds of messy.

Apparently, (according to my research aka comments and emails) there is also such a thing as bra tucker!  Serious!  This one, I believe, is generally reserved for especially hot days in Australia, and is specifically home based…or so I hope!

As far as I’m concerned all of these are fine, in the right context, right?

 It is the third kind of knicker-tucker that I have a little bit of trouble with.  (I know – I have standards after all – who would have thought?)

The tuck that I have a problem with is the…

The tuck that I really detest is…

I just can’t bring myself to say the words.

Let’s put it like this…

Knicker_Tuck_1

HOT!

(Minus the dodgy refection on the boobage area and the recently-dragged-through-a-bush mop of hair)…

and just so we are straight, the ‘HOT’ isn’t referring to me, but the tuck…right?  (Sounding all kind of arrogant!)

 

Knicker_tuck_2

and this is most definately the NOT!

 

Are you a knicker-tucker lover or hater?  And which kind of tucker are you?

 

(Oh and btw, one of my readers may or not have forwarded the last blog post to Mranda Kerr’s mum!  I know!  How awesome is that?

Orlando, if you are reading this….you are HOT.  Miranda…if Orlando is reading this, then obviously you are too…’No Worries Babe’….you are HOTTER!)

Jolene

Jolene

Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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