As I may have already mentioned (once or twice), yesterday I flew to Adelaide to join my partner in crime, to attend the Pregnancy, Babies and Children’s Expo.
And I may have also mentioned…slightly more often, is the fact that I have a severe case of mum-flu. Hmmm, just as I suspected…still no sympathy!
What I haven’t yet mentioned is that during the flight yesterday, the powers that be, saw fit to seat McHotty in the seat next to me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am completely and utterly devoted to my husband, he still rocks my world and in the immortal words of ‘The Swingers,’ ..’their ain’t no place I’d rather be’…but…BUT..their isn’t anything wrong with a bit of decent eye-candy, right?
Wrong! Eye-candy that sits too close to comfortably observe (without actually pressing your nose against his cheek) or being able to snap on your iPhone (just kidding :-$ ) is just a little bit annoying, to say the least. In fact it is a downright inconvenience.
Add to this the fact that I had a nose head filled with snot, was sucking on antibacterial lozengers for dear life, making me smell like a recently disinfected toilet bowl…(not that I’d know, ‘cos I lost all sense of smell and taste completely) – and was glugging down a bottle of water in the effort to stop my ears from hurting faster than a teenager at a pop concert with a water bottle filled with vodka and lemonade, and it’s clear to see that I wasn’t going to make it onto his mental to-do list…period.
When I tell you that I feigned looking out of the window just so he didn’t see me blowing unexpected snot bubbles out of my nostrils…I am under-exaggerting..I know that isn’t it term, but in this case, it should be!
That’s right, green dress with flattering shirring around the breasts or not, there ain’t no way I was bringing sexy back from that little flight!
At one point though McHotty, sensing the obvious sexual tension or more likely reciting a silent mantra to ward off my germs, put on his headset, closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat with his eyes closed. Sensing his relaxed breathing, I braced myself and stole a quick glance in his direction…
My eyes passed over his sun-kissed skin, his stubbled chin and full lips…and then met unexpectedly with the 60 year old woman’s in the seat next to McHotty who had also chosen that exact moment to check him out too! Trust me, she had her lips pursed and her eyebrow raised seductively…for a moment it was like looking at an aged mirror image of myself!
Let me tell you…it took EVERY bone in my body to stop myself from jumping up and high-fiving the awesomeness of that woman, goddammit! Kudos to you! Let’s hope we are all still appreciating the beauty of the male form at her age, eh?
And for those of you who like a man with a brain…he was looking at a book with lots of big words on before he fell asleep! Everyone’s a winner!