The Things We Do for a Hobnob!
There is a distinct downside, I realized yesterday, to having my children toilet trained.
You see, on hearing that Aldi has Hobnobs biscuits AND chocolate digestives (swoon), I made the executive decision to bypass my local Woolies store and make the 40 km trek to the nearest Aldi instead.
I wasn’t even halfway around the store, (and still yet to spot the aforementioned biscuits) when I spotted Bubble making moves that suspiciously resembled the wee dance. You know the wee dance right? It involves little people holding onto the front of their pants and jiggling around…even more than usual.
“Do you need to go to the toilet?” I asked half hoping that a small (harmless) spider had crawled up her leg.
“Yeah,” she whined jumping on the spot. “I need to go wee.”
“Okay,” I said “surveying the half-filled trolley. “We’ll hurry up and get out of here.”
I was halfway down the next aisle, throwing random groceries into my trolley like a woman possessed, when Foghorn decided to upstage his sister’s dancing efforts with a double whammy move that involved a front grasp and a rather desperate looking bum-hold. I don’t know whethe you are familiar with this particular choreography, but instead of being accompanied by wiggling, it involves a more conservative buttock clench which results in a feet-dragging shuffle.
At this point the grocery supermarket sweep came to an abrupt end and we high-tailed it straight to the checkout.
And of course…there was a queue.
And then when we did get to the checkout and the whining was reaching fever pitch, I realised that I still had to pack my own shit
AARRRGGGHHHHH!
But, as I stood at the conveyor belt throwing my groceries up out of my trolley and trying to calm the children I spotted out of the corner of my eye, the biscuits that would make wet car seats all worth while.*
So this week, dinner will be looking a lot like this…
But that is okay…because I will be hiding with my head in the pantry, dunking my biscuits in my coffee! SLURP!
*Btw, we made it to the nearest toilet without any accidents. In fact, it seems that nobody’s call of nature was that urgent after all as I had to drag them both away from the activity centre in the breastfeeding booth of the parents toilet. FFS!
Jolene
Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.
