5 Reasons Why Having Big Boobs Is the Worst!
For as long as I can remember I’ve always had big boobs. I was that girl in primary school who wore a bra before anyone else. The girl who couldn’t really do athletics because there was no such thing as a supportive sports bra back then. And don’t be fooled by the media that glamourises big boobs, they can be the absolute worst and here are 5 reasons why.
1. BACK ACHE
When you’re a well endowed girl you will need a supportive bra to hoist those puppies up. And the only bras that can do that properly are the industrial strength ones with super wide straps. You know the ones I mean? The ones that could be mistaken for a catapult. Yeah those! The problem is big boobs put a tremendous strain on your back and shoulders because they weigh a LOT! In fact I’m tempted to weigh one of my boobs just out of curiosity. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason I find myself slouching so much.
2. YOU CAN NOT GO BRALESS
During lockdown last year so many of my friends were rejoicing the fact they could go bra free while working from home. They all ripped their bras off and jumped around joyfully feeling light as a bird. I on the other hand tried it for a day and discovered it’s pretty annoying having two humongous swinging sacks hitting you in the face when you walked. And don’t even get me started on having my nipples resting on my lap when I sat down. Yeah…fun times. And apparently during menopause they can grow even more. Are you kidding me?? Have we not suffered enough!
3. YOU WILL LOOK SEXY ALL THE TIME
Please don’t think this is a good thing. I don’t mean it in a positive way. I mean that if you just want to throw on a scrappy Tshirt and some leggings you will instantly end up looking like a Page Three girl instead of a fit chick. Oh how I envy those women that can wear a Tshirt without those ‘pulled lines’ in the middle of their chest that us big bosomed girls get every time. And don’t even THINK ABOUT trying to wear a shirt with buttons. One deep breath and those buttons will pop off and hit who ever is unlucky enough to be standing near by. I’m not even kidding.
4. EXERCISE IS A PAIN
Big busted girls love lifting weights as there is no jumping around involved. I did a HIIT class last year where star jumps were the warm up activity. There was no way on God’s earth I am able to do a star jump without sustaining an eye injury. But I tried. I could only manage to do a one arm star jump as the other arm was too busy holding the boobs still. This is the same for jogging, jumping on trampolines or any other ‘bouncing’ activity. You get my drift?
5. SLEEPING IS A STRUGGLE
Here’s a fun fact. When you have big boobs and you sleep on your back they will end up under your arms. If you have no idea what I’m talking about then your cup size is definitely a C or smaller! Lucky you. For the rest of us big busted ladies trying to find a comfy position is near impossible. Sleeping on your stomach hurts, on your back they end up under your arms and when you sleep on your side you end up with those deep wrinkles in your décolletage from the weight of your breasts pushing together. So yes, I now sleep standing up with my arms folded like a vampire.
If you have big boobs you can most likely relate with the points above and can even add in a few more of your own. And while I’m making light of the situation, having big breasts can actually cause you so much pain and discomfort that it can affect your quality of life. In fact there have been a number of celebrities who have been open and honest about the problems that being big-breasted caused in their lives.
Drew Barrymore, Queen Latifah, Soleil Moon Frye, and others have gone public with their decisions to undergo breast reductions. “Modern Family” actress Ariel Winter had one at 17, while “Everybody Loves Raymond” star Patricia Heaton was in her 50s.
So while people may tell you ‘it’s a great problem to have’ only you know how annoying and painful it can be. So if big boobs are stopping you from living your life please go and see a health care professional. But in the mean time stay away from trampolines and invest in a good bra!