Mum Doesn’t Want To Be Stuck Driving Neighbour’s Kid To School Every Day

Learning how to say NO can be very difficult for some people. One mum says she feels taken advantage of after a new neighbour hinted at their kids travelling to school together. Problem is, how do you turn down someone in need without offending them?

An anxious mum has sought advice from other parents after her new neighbour hinted at her driving both their kids to school each day. “How do I decline giving her son a lift,” she asks on Mumsnet.

“We have moved and son (year 4) has started a new school. We’re having work done to the house so not living there at the moment we are living about 30 minutes away temporarily,” the mum wrote on Mumsnet.

She then went on to say that the neighbour has already voiced how busy she’ll be and how she has no idea how she’ll manage taking her son to school each day.

“She has commented in the handful of brief five minutes I have met her previously how hard things are for her in terms of getting to school, etc,” she continued, “obviously hinting but as we haven’t moved there not outwardly asked yet.”

“My son came back from school on Friday and said ‘X said we’ll be travelling to school together’.”

And although the neighbour hasn’t flat out asked her yet, she knows where this is heading. Problem is, she hates confrontation and has no idea how to stop it before it proceeds. “How can I politely say I don’t want to?” she asked.

“My mum who enables my doormat behaviour thinks I should ‘help the poor lady out.’ In the past situations like that have resulted in so much inconvenience for me such as not being able to spontaneously just go for ice cream after school or pop to a friend’s house.”

Commenters gave mixed responses online. Some said she should just help the woman out while others told her to stand her ground.

“Don’t take the hint, she hasn’t asked outright,” commented one person. “If she does, just say that doesn’t work for me, sorry. Then quickly change the subject. If your son says ‘X says’, just no we aren’t he’s mistaken.”

Another said, “Perhaps take the bull by the horns and suggest that you could take the boys on alternate days. Say you wouldn’t want to do a rota for the return trip as you like to have the freedom after school.”

“Soften it with ‘in an emergency situation’ you wouldn’t mind as a very occasional thing but you can’t commit to anything regular,” added a third.

While one person wondered, “Why wouldn’t you do a next-door neighbour a favour? Once you are moved into your house you really aren’t going out of your way.”

The original poster provided an update saying: “The thing is I don’t know my schedule so don’t want to commit to anything. I am also looking for a new job. Previously I have given so many lifts to people out of guilt or what they will think of I say no. I would never just ask people to give lifts to my kids! I just find it so cheeky but as I’ve been told by my anxiety therapist not everyone thinks the same way I do.”

Hmmm…what would you do in this situation?

Images: Pixabay