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Wife Wants to Know If She Should Let Husband Attend Funeral of a Baby Conceived in Affair

Wife Wants to Know If She Should Let Husband Attend Funeral of a Baby Conceived in Affair

(CONTENT WARNING: This article discusses infant death)

Having found herself in a rather bizarre situation, a woman has sought advice from the internet hoping for the right answer to a difficult question. Should her husband attend the funeral of the baby he conceived during his affair?

Asking the well-rounded and wordy folk over at Reddit’s Am I the Asshole forum, the anonymous woman explained her conundrum. Her situation is certainly unique, and something that is clearly bothering her.

We can’t help but feel for everyone involved in this sad situation. There are no winners in this devastating scenario.

The highest voted response to the post certainly summed up what everyone was thinking: “holllllllyyyyyyyyy shit. Uhhhhh, I think this one is above Reddit’s paygrade.”

People offered different perspectives to the perplexed wife, including this comment:

“OP if you’re willing to forgive him for the affair then it’s only right you let him go bury his dead child. This shouldn’t be the reason you divorce him, that should be because of the cheating not due to him going to his child’s funeral. How would you feel if you had a stillborn and your extended family (aunt/uncles/etc.) didn’t show up because they never met the child and didn’t know him? Most likely you would think them heartless and cold. It’s his child, whether he met the child or not, it’s his kid. He needs to go to the funeral. Plain and simple.” wrote user ImReverse_Giraffe.

Others offered a different view:

“But if I had a stillborn child and my extended family didn’t show up, I’d be upset because they weren’t there to support ME, not for the disrespect to the child. Funerals are for the living. If OP’s husband goes to the funeral, it would be supporting his mistress, and it would be damaging to whatever healing has occurred in the marriage.” added munster-marsh. “I don’t blame OP for not wanting him to go. It’s about optics as much as anything else. He can grieve anywhere, and he should do so in a place that doesn’t exacerbate the anxiety of his betrayed wife.”

Somehow, the posted named OrangutanMan234 managed to share a moment of clarity that cut through all the confusion:

“He’s an asshole for having an affair. You stayed with him after that. You knew what that meant. That kid was gonna be a part of your lives somehow. This funeral is how.”

What do you think? Is it appropriate for the man to attend his child’s funeral? Or should he do the only thing he can ever do as a father to this child? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.


Source: Reddit/Am I the Asshole?

Jill Slater

Jill Slater

Jill is a busy wife and mother of four young children. She loves nothing more than making people giggle, and loves to settle in with a glass of wine (or four) and wander about the internet. Feel free to follow her to see all the cool stuff she finds!

One comment

  1. I think I would have to say no to the funeral. I would have to however allow for closure. By allowing to go to the child’s resting place sans the ex mistress. He should have some aspect of showing respect to a child whom he fathered. The wife need not go to the child’s actual grave but should attend in solidarity of their marriage, and be there to support.

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