One mum, who has been co-parenting her 10-year-old daughter amicably with her ex, was dumbfounded to learn what he and his partner had named their new baby. According to the woman, considering the baby and her daughter were siblings and thinking she had a good relationship with the ex’s girlfriend, she had intended to be supportive and even take care of the new baby if and when the couple needed it. However, that all changed after the baby was born, and the woman and her young daughter went to the meet the newborn in hospital.
Sharing the bizarre story on Reddit the woman wrote:
A little bit of context for you all, I ended up falling pregnant with my 10-year-old daughter during a drunken hook-up with a friend in my mid 20s. Not the most glamourous or flattering truth but it’s the truth all the same. When we found out we decided to keep the child and co-parent while remaining friends. We were never a couple and we didn’t want to be one either.
Four years ago he began to date his longterm girlfriend and they moved in together last year. She fell pregnant and I’ve been supportive to them both as much as I could be without crossing any lines; I’ve encouraged my daughter to help out whenever she’s staying with them during the pregnancy and to behave, I’ve also made it clear that I want the children to have a close relationship despite having different Mothers, I’ve even said that if they were comfortable with it on nights I have my daughter if they ever want time alone I’ll babysit once they have the baby so my daughter can spend time with her sibling.
All in all, I thought everything was great and I was excited for my daughter to have a sibling as she’s always wanted one but I had no interest in having another child. Three days ago my friend and his girlfriend had a daughter, they asked me to bring my daughter to the hospital to meet her little sister yesterday alongside others of the family.
As you can see, so far in the story there doesn’t seem to be any indication of any ill will or bad feeling between the previous and the new partner. In fact, there seems to be a level of excitement that the 10 year old will have a much-longed for sibling. But when the woman and her young daughter arrive at the hospital things take a very strange turn.
So I did exactly that but when they introduced us to the baby I was shocked. They’d used my daughter’s name. She didn’t seem to have any issue with this when she introduced the baby bold as brass. My friend seemed uncomfortable and wouldn’t look at me directly. I asked them what they were playing at, at which point my friend’s father said he’d take my daughter down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and left with her.
My friend told me to calm down and not overreact while his girlfriend told me she didn’t see the issue and it was a pretty name. I asked them if they’d named the baby for my daughter trying to understand the logic here, but his girlfriend said that no it was just a pretty name she liked. I then asked if they planned to use a nickname or a middle name when addressing to her on a daily basis and her response was that she didn’t see a need for that.
I told them they were being ridiculous and that they couldn’t do this, I then told his girlfriend that I found this frankly creepy and told my friend he was being spineless if he was happy to go along with this. He tried to claim our daughter could use a nickname or something, but I shut that down immediately asking why it was more reasonable for a girl who has used that name for a decade to change her name compared to a baby who had no concept of what a name was yet.
His girlfriend told me I was being a bitch talking to her like that after she just gave birth and asked the nurses to remove me saying I was being disruptive.
Maybe my temper is running a little too hot though and I was too harsh on her when she just gave birth. It’s just so fucking weird.
Edit: I’d also like to state, I know that what they want to name their child is their choice, they could have called her Dinosaur for all I care but this is one name that should be off limits or adjusted, they even have the same surname as they have the same father…Something about it just felt malicious and deliberate as if she’s trying to replace my daughter and for them both to spring it on us like that at the first meeting? no that was weird.
Commenters agreed that she was justified in her outrage at the name the couple had chosen for their child, and also believed it to be a malicious act on the part of the new mum.
NTA. From the outside it sure reads like she wants to replace her partner’s affection for his first daughter with his new baby. Of course it’s creepy. (ParsimoniousSalad)
I don’t see how OP’s daughter won’t feel like she’s being replaced. Her father is saying, or supporting his girlfriend saying, that she doesn’t get to have her own name any more. That she’s supposed to use a nickname because the new baby is the real one with her name and she is not.
I don’t find it creepy. It looks completely malicious on the part of the girlfriend and intended to push OP’s daughter (and OP by extension) out of her father’s life. That girl is going to feel so uncomfortable. (calling_water)
You are so right!!! The gf is the biggest AH here because she’s being petty with a 10y kid that hasn’t done anything to her and not even thinking about the issues this could cause to her own kid.
And the hypocrisy of the whole thing! The way OP tells the story, she was pretending to be in good terms with OP and her kid, just to reveal this move after the pregnancy! (alanis1221)
As many people pointed out, the woman’s actions didn’t just affect her partner’s 10-year-old daughter, they’d also have repercussions on her newborn daughter, who was effectively being used as a pawn in some kind of twisted power play!
That is so unfair to the baby as well. To be used as a competition prop and not a person that deserves their own place in this world. (piemakerdeadwaker)
Her own child is days old and embroiled in family fighting. That speaks to stepmom’s priorities as a mother herself. (Any_Award1744)
Yeah, I agree that the child is weaponised here and is indirectly recipient of unrelated negativity. (Pressnspeak)
Yes, I was thinking the same thing. This woman is mean as hell. Giving birth doesn’t change her nature. She just used it as an opportunity to hurt someone who has seemingly been nice to her (OP) and an innocent child. (Timely_Zombie4153)
Many agreed that the dad was spineless to allow this to happen and warned that if he allowed his partner to get away with this, it would be just the start of more awful behaviour towards his older daughter.
The nerve the father had to suggest that the ten-year-old can use a nickname. In his mind his daughter is already not a priority! Bumped down to second place because his partner and new daughter are his real family. I feel sorry for OP and her daughter. This is just the beginning. (Timely_Zombie4153)
NTA. They hid this for a reason. He was embarrassed for a reason. The same FIRST and LAST name is going to cause both those girls a life time of issues, especially with the same father. I usually would have a bit more sympathy for a woman who just gave birth but she seemed deliberately cold and cruel towards your daughter (her step daughter) to have done this. (DeeDee-MayMay)
Do you buy the story that she just loved the name? Or do you think something more sinister is at play here? What would you do in this position?