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People Share the Funny Things Adults Told Them When They Were Kids That They Believed for Far Too Long

Not many parents can say that they haven’t told a little white lie to their child at some point. Whether it’s stories about Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy to add to a child’s sense of magic, or little porkies we tell them to make life as parents easier most of us have told our kids an untruth at some point. The problem is, as they get older, we sometimes forget to tell them the truth, and they can continue to believe in the ‘wisdom’ we shared with them long after we’ve forgotten all about it.  In a recent AskReddit thread people shared the funny things that adults told them when they were kids that they believed for far too long, and some of them are hilarious.

 

I always thought adults were geniuses that knew everything. I once asked my dad how waves at the beach were made. He said “whales”. I believed that for years. (inSight89)

 

When I was about 6 or 7 years old, I was out in my backyard digging for treasure, as kids do, when I found a dirty penny. I excitedly took my treasure inside to clean it in the sink, when, to my horror, I dropped my treasure down the drain. I ran to my mom and tearfully explained to her that my Penny went all the way to China. Now you’d think the story would end there, but it’s just the beginning. About a week later I got a letter in the mail. I’m 6, so this is a big deal. This has never happened before. So I opened the letter in front of my Mom and brothers and started reading the contents out loud. It was a very official sounding declaration from the president of the Chinese Government that they had found my Penny and, from analyzing the fingerprints, had determined the Penny belonged to me. There was also an identical copy of the letter in characters I couldn’t recognize, and of course, my Penny taped to the letter. Took that Penny and letter to show and tell and held onto it for years. As I got older I figured out santa and the Easter bunny were fake on my own, but man was I disappointed when I was told that my ‘China Penny’ wasn’t real.

Edit: I should add that this is a happy memory for me, and I see it as more of a fun, white lie not done maliciously. (nanaacer)

That Moths were the Ghosts of Butterflies. Cheers for that one Dad. (BudgetCoach)

My dad told me that all lizards are named Russell because they make a rustle noise in the bushes. I proudly told everyone this in class at about age 6. I still remember the blank looks and the teacher laughing. (_stuff_is_good_)

If you told lies your tounge turned blue and when we hear the ice-cream van playing it’s jingle it meant there wasn’t any ice-cream left. (Impressive-Error988)

My mum said something when I was a kid – someone had let one off at the dinner table and the accusing fingers had been pointed a her – she replied with “Ladies do not fart”. In hindsight it was statement about class and decency – but it sat in the back of my brain for many years.

Cut to being ~19, took my GF out to a lovely place in the country for the weekend. We were sat in front of a heater on a wooden floor just having a normal conversation – and then she let rip with a solid 8 second fart that reverberated on the wooden floor and felt like it shook the whole house.

My jaw dropped and I just stared at her until she burst out laughing. We had always been pretty discrete around each other – and although I knew somewhere in my brain that women must have flatulence somehow that epic wall-shaking butt-rip was the last thing I expected. We had a good long laugh about it the whole thing once I’d explained what I’d been “taught” about women… (eScarIIV)

The car won’t start unless your seatbelt is on. I say this to my niece now. Lol. (PlanktonSharp879)

That if I had lice and didn’t get them removed in the middle of the night they would drag me out to the sea. (secrethedgehog5)

 

My electronics had to be charged to 100%, otherwise they would be confiscated by the airport security when they went through the scanner. My siblings and I would fully charge all our devices, shut them down and switch them on in the queue for security so we could “avoid confiscation”. I’ll hand it to my parents – the car was pretty quiet on the way to the airport because we’d fall asleep or just listen to the radio lol. (treashtyfridge)

Mum always told us to keep the noise down whilst the cake or buns are in the oven otherwise they won’t rise, she just wanted us to be quiet lol. (HazeeyOne44)

My mom used to say “if you eat too much candy, your butt cheeks will glue together.” (Icarus-8)

Pool water is gonna change color if u pee in it. I gotta say tho, stopped me from peeing in pools my whole childhood. (reemreemreemreem)

My mom told me and my sister that when it was foggy outside it was because the frogs were singing and she would say “it’s froggy outside.” My sis literally argued with a teacher about what fog is and where it comes from. She told a whole class it was because frogs were singing and then went home and told my mom that the teacher was crazy and teaching us wrong information. (N1cole_Nurko)

Chocolate milk comes from brown cows. (Colonel_StarFucker)

I asked my dad why there were always pieces of carrot and corn whenever I vomited or saw anyone’s else’s vomit, he told me it’s because humans have a little carrot and corn sacks in our stomach that only get released when you vomit. I believed this until I was in a biology class at about 15 years old and told this fact to which everyone laughed at me 😅 (snowpeaceplease)

My dad would take my sister and I for bike rides in a forest nearby our house when we were growing up. In the forest there was a big tree we would always pass that had a small opening at the bottom, and sometimes we would find money in the opening. My sister and I were thrilled every time we found a few quarters in there, which we would usually spend on gumballs. I was probably 15 when I found out that when my dad would go for runs he’d put money in the tree for us to find lol he’s been an awesome dad. (Malibuu92)

When I was little and my mom gave me baths she would stick her index finger in my bellybutton and make a whirring noise. Then she’d pull her finger out and compare her index finger to the middle one and say “Look it got shorter!”

I believed this for an embarrassingly long time. (Numerous_Landscape16)

My Mom used to tell us the fridge was closed when we would ask for food too early in the AM or too late in the PM

Both of my parents used to say the “hospital is closed on the weekend” to keep me from doing stupid shit. (I believed this one for far too long) (Dominodd-)

What is something you believed as a child? What fibs have you told your own children?

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Jolene

Jolene

Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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