Hands up who used to keep a diary beside their bed as a teen, that you’d scribble all your thoughts, worries and events of the day in? With the prevalence of social media, it may surprise you to hear that this adolescent tradition is still as popular today  – albeit more so amongst girls. The golden rule for any diarist is that whether their notebook comes with a lock or not, all family members must respect their privacy, as the diary more often than not contains all of their most intimate thoughts. And if you’ve ever had someone pry into your diary (yes, mother, I’m looking at you!) you’ll know what a horrible infringement of your privacy it is.

One teen girl recently took to Reddit to share her recent experience with her stepmum, who was proving to be something of a serial-offender in the snooping department, and ask if she was wrong to lay a trap to prove that her stepmom was reading her private diary.

(16F) My stepmom (40?F) Arielle is really immature and honestly acts like a 9-year-old sometimes. She’s the type of person who makes fun of someone for having a hearing aid or wearing glasses. She also says bigoted things (i.e. there was someone on TV wearing a towel turban and Arielle said “Eww, why would anyone want to look like a Muslim”) so I do my best to avoid her. 

But Arielle won’t stop reading my diary. I found out because she said I wrote rude things about her cousin Loretta and tried to punish me over it. (I didn’t write anything rude about Loretta, just that she was condescending to me and I didn’t like her comments.) Dad just told me to respect adults and didn’t say anything to Arielle about reading my diary. I’ve moved the diary multiple times but Arielle keeps finding and reading it. She’ll make comments and say things that she would only know about from actively reading my diary. I’ve told my dad and he won’t do anything. He makes an excuse that “Oh, you don’t know Arielle reads your diary” when she clearly does.

I got fed up with it. So I tried talking to Arielle one more time about respecting my privacy and not reading my diary. I then wrote in my diary that I caught my dad having an affair with our neighbor Michael. Arielle ended up reading my diary the next day and freaked out. She yelled at my dad, went to Michael’s house, yelled at Michael, and then she drove somewhere else.

My family on my mom and stepdad’s side all thought it was super funny and told me that I taught Arielle an overdue lesson about respecting privacy and not being nosy. But Arielle and my family on my dad’s side are furious with me and I’m still grounded at his house. They said that Arielle is just curious and wants to know what’s going on in my life. And I should appreciate that Arielle wants to be involved instead of embarrassing the family in front of the neighborhood. AITA?

via GIPHY

Commenters were quick to reassure the 16 year old that she was not the arsehole in this situation.

NO, NO, NO – OP what you did was PERFECT for teaching this 40 year old child a lesson! Ignore those that are against it – she had it coming. No one gets to excuse the fact that she is violating your privacy. Shame on her. Sorry you have to deal with this insanity. – TrueResolve2625

Some even expressed pride in her actions.

I‘m actually pretty proud of you! You tried really hard to handle the problem in a mature way (moving the diary, directly confronting your step-parent, trying to get your dad’s help several times) and none of that worked, in addition to your dad just totally blowing you off. And then to hear that you should be happy about the invasion of your privacy because wifey just wants to get to know you better and see what’s going on in your life! I’m sorry, but fuck that nonsense! That’s what spending time together and conversations are for. You must be so disappointed with all of those people, especially your dad. You are not the asshole!! – NoEffsGiven-108

The only one who embarrassed the family in front of the neighbourhood is Arielle. OP just did a little creative writing to prove a point, and shouldn’t be blamed for the actions of an adult who’s incapable of acting like one. – TestTubeRagdoll

Play stupid games, win stupid prices.

So now you’ve proven to your dad that you were right, Arielle was snooping in your diary, and instead of defending you he is grounding you, actively choosing his wife over you, his daughter and showing you that he is not providing a trustworthy and safe environment for you. Your dad and his family are enablers with a total lack of boundaries. You want to steer away from them.

Proud of your for writing that in your diary. Can’t you get one of those diaries with a lock on?

Edited for NTA – DoIwantToKnow6417

You should get a lockbox, you can find them on Amazon for $20-30.

But your dad is the worst. He didn’t trust and believe you, so you proved it to him and now he is punishing you for her behavior and his lack of response. Can you stay with your mom more?

No amount of “curiosity” or “interest” justifies her behavior. She is a nosy snoop. If she was curious about or interested in your life, she would talk to you. – EconomyVoice5358

How you managed to teach two lessons in one action is truly remarkable. You taught your stepmother not to be a snoop, and to respect your privacy, and you taught your dad to actually do something rather than gaslight you else shit things happen. Ignore the pissing and moaning of your dad/Arielles family, just like they ignored your complaints.

Well played OP. – TR_Irisden

For those of you feeling sorry for poor Michael, the unsuspecting neighbour who was unwittingly dragged into this shitshow, our diarist shared a little update saying “I do feel a little bad for Michael, but I don’t feel as bad since he’s said some rude/weird things to me and gives me some not-so-good vibes.”

So, what do you think? Was OP right to get fed up of her boundary-breaching stepmum and frankly, useless dad, and take matter into her own hands, or did she take things too far?