When the Mirror Must be Faulty
It’s a gradual process, you don’t even realise it’s happening, your kids have always criticised what you wear so that’s no indication, writing is getting smaller because it’s all computer generated these days, visits to the hairdressers are more frequent because your hair is growing quickly in the humidity and technology changes constantly so everyone is struggling to keep up. You check yourself in the mirror, take a selfie, then another and can’t quite get the angle or lighting right…then all of a sudden, it dawns on you! “OMG I’m getting old!”
Without warning, you realise that even though your mind is still thinking like a 34-year-old, your mirror tells another story. Suddenly, no shops cater to your body shape, your favourite colour lipstick gets discontinued, and the teen shop assistant informs you that shade is no longer fashionable. The hairdresser you love retires, so does your favourite Doctor. You find yourself squinting at menus in restaurants, you groan when you are invited to social occasions, you groan when you get up off the couch! You turn down the car radio so you can see better. You get excited about a night in bingeing TV, you enlarge the display on your phone, teens and 20 somethings speak in language that confuses you using terms you’ve never heard of, and your internet feed is full of ads for dry vaginas and neck tightening serums.
Now there’s a few ways to deal with this revelation.
Deny, Deny, Deny
This is the path we see many celebrities taking. It requires a lot of money and involves cosmetic procedures, personal trainers, personal chefs, weight loss injectables, and designer fashion wear. All posts on social media are carefully curated for optimum angles, lighting and wow factor.
The Road Most Travelled
Buy serums for the skin, take supplements for energy and protect bone health, take collagen for skin, hair and nails, and creatine for brain health. Consider some form of HRT to ward off the endless symptoms of peri and menopause. Start investing in regular facials, a few tweaks and non-invasive skin procedures. Join a gym, take up Pilates and buy new clothes at every sale that is advertised to spruce up your wardrobe. Only post on social media if the lighting is great or add a filter.
Look Reality in the Face
This is the spot where most of us eventually land. We still take supplements, we still get facials, we still exercise but it has become more manageable and affordable. We embrace early nights at home, we only accept social invitations if we can be bothered. We start adopting the zero f#*ks given attitude and realise we are highly unlikely ever to have our teen figures back again. We dress for comfort and style, we loosely follow fashion but only if it suits our body shape and style. We have reading glasses or contacts, some of us colour our hair and some of us embrace the greys. Our body shapes vary, our waistlines disappear and laugh lines appear. We settle in to the new person reflected back at us in the mirror. We are grateful to still celebrate birthdays when some of our friends no longer get to.
The Balancing Act
Some days I’m better at accepting this new version of me than others. Some days the dots, spots, wrinkles, dimples, lumps and bumps on my body horrify me and other days I think they’re funny. Some days I hate my blobby belly and other days I love it because it housed my most precious cargo; my son and daughter. Some days I dissect the lines on my face and try to cover them with makeup and other days I smile and am glad I can see my expressions and laugh lines. Some days I curse my joints and the aches they give me and other days I am grateful I can walk, swim and cuddle my first grandchild. Some days I curse that my clothes don’t fit like they used to and other days I toss them out and buy new comfy ones. Some days I get outraged at all the ads the internet is serving me and the posts people are sharing so I go on a rampage blocking ads and unfollowing obnoxious profiles. Then I choose to watch women who inspire me and make me laugh. I stop comparing and remind myself that ageing is inevitable and a million times better than the other option.
As women we need to embrace our constantly changing bodies and I for one choose to look at those changes with humour. Shaz and Trace are two characters I created who are Mums, besties and tackle life’s problems over a wine each week.
Shaz and Trace discuss old age
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Has Shaz reached that age?
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Anna Waters-Massey is a writer, actor and vocalist from the Gold Coast. She loves entertaining people and making them smile with her writing, song parodies and acting work. She is the creator of the comedy series Stage Mums which aired on Network Ten and spin off characters Shaz and Trace who have taken on a life of their own on social media. Anna also wrote the animated series Insta Infamous for young adults and Forest Road for children under 6.
