Fiancé Says Partner’s Wedding Song Choices Aren’t Gay Enough
A man has been accused of choosing wedding songs that lacked the ‘gay factor’ according to his partner. Now he’s wondering if he should rethink his choices.
Writing into Reddit, the man gave a bit of a background on the situation explaining that he’s bisexual and is marrying his male partner of many years. When discussing their wedding sings, the couple said they would each come up with a list and go from there. Except now the man’s fiancé is accusing him of on,y choosing songs with a male/female love interest. Here’s what he wrote:
I’m a bi man getting married soon to my longtime boyfriend. We were choosing songs that we would dance to at our wedding. We decided that we would get two dances in a row before moving on to the parent dances. We’d each get a song during the dance, and to decide the songs we’d each make a list of five songs and then the other person would choose one from that list. Well, I made my list and my fiance was upset with my choices. He said that I wasn’t being accepting of the fact that we are two men getting married and was shirking away from my gay identity.
My 5 were:
Paper Boats (Darren Korb ft. Ashley Barret)
The Diary of Horace Wimp (ELO)
Close to You (The Carpenters)
Bridge over Troubled Water (Simon and Garfunkel)
I chose these songs because they are the most romantic songs I like. And I really do like them, they’re some of my favorite songs to listen to (less so Close to You, which I chose due to the romance factor but I still like the song a lot). But he was pissed because these songs seem to point towards male-female love. Either they’re a female lead singer or the song explicitly refers to a woman as the other romantic partner. He wanted me to pick another song. But we agreed on the list of five thing, and I was really hoping for these songs. I had already picked from his list, choosing I Will by the Beatles.Would I be the asshole for insisting that he choose from one of my five?
Most commenters said he most definitely was NOT an a**hole with comments saying that music shouldn’t be about gender but about love.
“NAH you need to talk to your fiance about what these songs mean to you and find a compromise that makes you both happy. Marriage is a lot of talking and compromising.”
“Excuse me but what’s gayer than Euro Pop? ABBA is great.”
“NTA, fair is fair. He’s looking to make a statement about your sexuality, you’re looking to make a statement about your love for one another. It’s a wedding, it should be about love. Also, you each get a choice so he should just let you have your damn choice.”
“NTA. Were you supposed to choose “It’s Raining Men” or something? It sounds like your fiancé is missing the point if he cares that those songs were written about heterosexual romance.”
“He should be less focused on what the song means, and more focused on what the song means to you.”
“NTA. It’s not like there’s an entire library of songs about males loving males to choose from. I mean yeah, there’s some, but not a whole lot. I think maybe he’s just feeling insecure about the possibility of you running off to a woman? Maybe that’s a reach on my part.”
“NTA. I think it’s common to disregard gender in love songs. I do realize that is more fraught in this case. I think your fiance should choose from your list. He can dance to a song that fails to make a statement or support pride because you like it and it is your wedding too.”
Some commenters even offered some suggestions for wedding songs that may be a bit more suited for a male to male love.
“There is Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden (but that song’s overrated imo, they have other better, but less romantic, songs). Plus, I like 1950 by King Princess, and I’m neither a girl nor a lesbian. Also, would that make anyone who plays Truly Madly Deeply at their wedding auto gay?”
“Elton John’s Guy’s Song… but I agree not an extensive list. Frankly a wedding song that is not about a break up or stalkerish is a rarity.”
“Only one I can think of is one last time from Hamilton and I know that doesn’t really count.”
“Troye Sivan has songs like Heaven, Bloom, the blue neighborhood trilogy. Besides him i don’t know any others honestly.”
“The Night I Fell in Love by the Pet Shop Boys (probably not something you’d want at a wedding, though!)”
“Best I can come up with is Cam Clarke’s Inside Out album. He’s a gay voice actor that everyone’s heard in their life, and he did an album of classic love songs and gender swapped the pronouns when appropriate.”
That’s definitely an interesting argument, what do you think the man should do? Stick to his guns or choose other songs?