How do we teach our kids not to bully when we’re busy doing it ourselves?
As an aid to educating myself to a mystery I have long held in my head before I started this article, I googled the words: “Why are women so mean to each other” and 117,000,000 results appeared. I guess I’m not alone in asking the question. Pretty much in a nutshell, the general theory is that women are competitive to one another and see in others what we wish we had ourselves. This isn’t the first time I’ve written about the way women treat each other – I previously wrote The Female Bitch Factor here which actually heralded very few answers from anyone who read it. What has prompted me to write yet again are two things: Desperate Housewives of Sydney, and the vitriolic treatment of an infamous female blogger who doesn’t even need to be named for you to know who I’m referring to.
Now I haven’t watched a whole lot of the housewives series but I did get hooked on Real Housewives of Melbourne and while there was plenty of yelling, back-stabbing and bitching in nearly every episode there was also a lot of laughter and fun and I would be happy to call several of them my friends.
The Real Housewives of Sydney however has been rather different. I am actually embarrassed on their behalves to think that grown women can behave the way they have been. I’m not naïve enough to think that the producers of these shows aren’t actively encouraging the women to have conflicts, engage in drama and cat fights but puh-leassssee the names that have been spoken, the drinks that have been thrown, and the tantrums I’ve witnessed have made me equally parts shocked, horrified and gob-smacked in disbelief.
To watch them attempt to bond by sharing confidences with one another about past heartbreaks, personal dramas and current relationship problems only to have those confidences immediately and inappropriately shared with the rest of the group then thrown back into the face of those who have confided is disgusting.
The bitch factor is at warp speed and is eye watering to watch. These women are BEYOND nasty to one another screaming across the table at who’s got the biggest carat diamond on their finger, before “fuck you slut” is uttered one more time before they stalk out of the room so the ones left behind can bitch about the departed. More fodder for the next episode.
I can only assume that the extreme popularity of these shows and the constant introduction of another series means that people are lapping this stuff up. And I would’ve thought most of it was fake until…until witnessing the bizarre phenomena that has surrounded the afore-mentioned female blogger. She is absolutely polarising women around the country. Love her or hate her people are taking sides and it’s getting ugly. And quite frankly it’s scary to watch. The behaviour from both sides has been vile, ugly, hot-headed and unnecessary. Let me repeat that: completely UNNECESSARY.
Yes her rise to fame was rapid. Yes she has legions of fans. Yes she is opinionated. (Who isn’t?)
If you love what someone has to say about child-rearing, motherhood, relationships, sex and friendship and you want to follow them, then great. Read it, share it, absorb it, revel in it, laugh, rejoice. Knock yourselves out. Comment to your heart’s content and praise whatever you deem is worthy of praise.
And if you don’t like it, don’t read, share or follow. It’s as simple as that.
How can it be that one human being who dared to share her thoughts publicly now has Facebook groups formed solely to hate her, diss on her, and even stalk her? It’s gotten to the point that a bodyguard may become necessary. This is insane.
Because whatever happened to “If you haven’t got something nice to say, say nothing at all”. Why does everyone feel so compelled to get on their high horse, get angry and shout to the world how much someone else’s opinions upset them? What does it matter to them?
If people want to take the time to sit down and write pissed off words then how about taking the time to write to our politicians about real issues that affect us all; the homeless, the drug problems society faces, domestic violence, or the pot holes that are wrecking your car’s suspension?
Is the theory about women being competitive with each other true in this situation?
Do a million women want to be like her and can’t stand it when anyone disagrees? And are the haters jealous they didn’t come up with her ideas first? I have no freaking clue. All I know is that the large majority of people on both teams are women, and probably mothers and how can any of us/them look our children in the face and tell them to never, ever bully another child whether it’s pushing them over on the playground or sitting silently behind a keyboard when so many of us are doing it ourselves???