“Kids First, Egos Last”: Mum Shares How Her Family Came Through Divorce Happier Than Ever
Navigating your way through an amicable divorce when you have children and extended family involved would have to be one of the most difficult things a couple can do.
There are obviously the reasons for the separation to move on from, and then the possibilities of your ex-spouse forming a new relationship with someone else to work through while remaining cheerful in front of the children.
Kristina Kuzmic seems to have it all worked out, and her relationship with her former-in laws is proof that all the hard work of putting the children first can be worth it.
The popular blogger shared a post she made this time last year, and it has gone viral all over again. She explains the circumstances of her divorce and how she and her former-in laws’ relationship developed to something beautiful.
“My ex-husband’s parents obviously weren’t thrilled about me divorcing their son. Soon after the divorce, I drove to my in-laws’ house and had a very long and open and difficult and awkward and beautiful and complicated conversation with them. We decided not to point fingers or blame or judge. We just talked about the most important thing: the kids. We decided to put our differences and our pride aside and focus on what really matters: family, forgiveness, love. I remember one particular phone call early on, while things were still really tense between their son and me, his mom said: “Well, if you’re not technically my daughter-in-law anymore, then from now on you’re my daughter.” And they have treated me like one since.
“Today was another Thanksgiving spent at their house. I’ve always been welcome. Once I started dating my current husband, I assumed the invitation to Thanksgiving would stop. But no. The invitation was extended to him as well. It’s been like this for years now, all of us getting together for the holidays.
“Today, we once again ate together as one big family. Today, my husband helped my ex-husband’s mom set the table and clean up, as he does every year. Today, I listened as my ex-husband and current husband discussed work and football and parenting. Today, I watched my ex-husband play superheroes with my son from my second marriage.
“Today was about all the stuff that really matters and not about the unnecessary drama we humans tend to create.
“None of this divorce, remarriage, co-parenting stuff is easy. In some ways, it’s the hardest part of my life. But the hard work and our “kids first, egos last” formula has been worth it. So, so worth it. ❤️
“(The first photo is of my ex-husband’s mom and me from last year’s Thanksgiving. The second photo is from today, my current husband helping my ex-husband’s mom set the dessert table.)”
While she acknowledges that not everybody can reach this level of understanding after a divorce, Kristina is thankful for the loving relationship with her ex-husband’s family and says that the bond it created, and positive example it sets for her kids, are worth the forgiveness and humility it took to get there.
“What a wonderful example of loving your children more than you dislike your ex. A statement I lived by during my divorce,” wrote one woman on the heartwarming post.
“I’m forever thankful my divorced parents spent every single Christmas and Thanksgiving together. I never knew a holiday with only one parent or the other because dad was still a part of mom’s extended family. My joke now is my parents may not have taught me how to have a healthy marriage, but they damn sure taught me how to have a healthy divorce,” added another.
Food for thought, indeed!
Source: Faceboo/Kristina Kuzmic