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My Newly Aquired Fear of Flying!

Whilst The Woo and Foghorn are now excitedly counting down the sleeps until we visit their Nana and Bampy on the Gold Coast, (currently sitting on four sleeps), I am myself, filled with something more akin to dread.  Or perhaps that should be pure blind terror!

I am hugely excited to see my parents, don’t get me wrong.  I can’t wait to see the faces of my children light up when they spot their grandparents somewhere near the luggage carousel at the airport.  I can’t wait to see my parent’s jaws drop in amazement as they note the stunning difference four months has made to Little Bubble’s development.  The little toddler they saw waddling around back in June, is now swinging her hips with attitude and flair and setting about charming her siblings (and father) to get just what she wants, when she wants it. 

I can’t wait to wake up to the sound of the whip birds singing in the trees.  I can’t wait to take the children swimming and watch them laugh, and play and splash in the sun.  I can’t wait to take them to Sea World and listen to the Woo proudly spouting random ,interesting facts about various sea creatures, which he has learnt from watching Octonauts.

What I CAN wait for though is the two hour flight with twenty three month old Bubble strapped to my lap for what will feel like eternity.  I don’t imagine that in the presence of such a large potential audience she will want to sit still and mind her own business.  Nope…not my girl.

She is far more likely to want to talk or sing or dance for anyone who cares to make eye contact with her.  She will want to show our neighbours on the plane her shoes, and then she will repeat the word “shoes,” over and over again until they have acknowledged the word and shown their understanding by dutifully repeating the word back to her.

And she will no doubt tell the entire cabin her latest favourite joke, by shouting out “Chicken bum-bum boobies,” and throwing her head back and cackling like a witch, in an attempt I suspect to imitate me.  (They say that imitation is the highest form of compliment that someone can pay you…not so much so though in this instance unfortunately!)

Don’t ask me why ‘Chicken bum-bum boobies,” is so funny, I have no idea.  I have an idea it is a mix and match of words she has heard her brothers use in the course of their conversations when Mum is safely out of earshot.

So, in preparation for spending a very, let’s say ‘interesting’ two hours, in a very confined space with my three preschoolers, I have decided to place my faith and hope in the two fail-safe’s of parenting…food and bribery!

And I will be packing both in abundance.

Wish me luck…or a very stiff drink when I get to the other side!

Do you have any other suggestions of must-have items for my carry-on bags, besides disosable earplugs for the other passengers?



Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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