For Sale: One Pair Of Breast Implants – Only Slightly Used!

We all have those tight-ass friends that drive us crazy. Like my girlfriend who never, ever turns the lights on in her house no matter how gloomy it is outside or what time of day it is, so when I go over for coffee I have to squint to see her facial expressions (maybe because she doesn’t want to listen to me anyway and this way I can’t).

Or the mate who only ever buys clothes during Boxing Day sales even though the only things that are left on the racks are in weird sizes in strange colours that NO ONE ELSE WANTS.

Or the ones who only go on holiday to Qld if the airfares are $69 even though the flight leaves at midnight and they are staying nowhere near the beach and when they get home they complain about how horrible it was, BUT they did fill their pockets at the all-you-can-eat buffet so they didn’t have to pay for breakfast and lunch.

But eight extreme tight-wads have taken the cake in the UK because they have all placed bids on second hand breast implants as reported by the Daily Mail. Ewwwwww. Just ewwwwwww.

Apparently they’re only 11 months old and weren’t quite the right size for her so she’s selling them on ebay (starting bid £200) stating they are in “excellent” condition and have been sterilised.

Antonia Mariconda, founder of The Safety in Beauty campaign, stated: “It’s unthinkable. What surgeon thought it was a good idea to give this woman her implants back? They should have been binned. Touching any kind of medical device makes it instantly contaminated – only sterile sealed new implants direct from manufacturer to surgeon and only opened for surgeon to surgically implant should be used – not second hand knock-offs.”

Charlie Pillans, MD of Q Medical Technologies, added “Used breast implants explanted from one person are classed as clinical waste and should be disposed of via official and regulated medical waste disposal facility”. Um, DOH.

I highly doubt any reputable surgeon would even CONSIDER placing a DIY kit into his freshly sliced-open patient, unless he doesn’t mind leaving him/herself wide open to a hefty litigation suit filed by someone who (A) ends up with a massive infection or (B) decides they should have lasted an extra 11 months.

Sorry but there’s just some things that HAVE to be bought brand-new!