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“My Family Called Me Tacky for Announcing My Second Pregnancy at My Daughter’s First Birthday”

One mum has been left hurt and confused after sharing what she considered exciting news with her family and friends at her daughter’s first birthday. Before the party wrapped up, and while they still had their guests in attendance, the woman and her husband revealed a final gift for their daughter – a ‘big sister’ t-shirt and a photo of an ultrasound. Whilst they received congratulations at the time, some family members later told her that it was a tacky stunt that made the daughter’s birthday about the new baby and not her!

My (30f) and my husband (30m) celebrated our daughter’s first birthday last weekend. I am also 3 months pregnant with our second baby. All of our family and friends were over to celebrate. We decided at the end of the party to say we found one more gift that she didn’t open, and inside was a shirt that said “Big Sister” with the ultrasound also in the bag. Everyone was so excited and telling her she’d be the best big sister ever. It was so special, but a few days later some of my family said that was really tacky and took away from my daughter. They said when she hears about her party she’ll know we made it about us and her new sibling. I talked to a friend about this that was there and she said it seemed kind of selfish to make it about the new baby instead of her. I am so hurt. I thought it would be so special and we purposefully did it at the end of the party and made it about her being a big sister. My husband kind of agrees that we should’ve announced another day. So AITA for announcing on her birthday or should I have done it on another day?

Many commenters were incredulous at the family’s reaction, pointing out that at 1 years old, her daughter had no clue.

Your daughter is 1 year old….. She has no blasted clue. If your daughter was old enough to know what was happening, then maybe… You had all your family together, what better time to share good news. NTA.

Do people really think that sometime in the future someone is going to casually bring up to your daughter, “Remember your first birthday and how your parents ruined it for you by telling everyone you were going to be a big sister?” Hopefully, you didn’t post it on social media so that everyone could see the disappointment in your daughters face when you told her. DWS (Hausmannlife_Schweiz)

The height of stupidity is to ascribe adult emotions to baby and toddlers.🤦🤦🤦🙄🙄🙄 (abstractengineer2000)


Do they expect your 1 yo to remember her first birthday ?! Do you have a super genius baby?!

NTA. At that age, birthdays are not for the child, but for the parent and family. The child doesn’t care. (MaybeAWalrus)

Other suggested that birthday parties for 1-year-old’s were more a celebration for the parents for surviving the first year, and that really before the age of 3 or 4, kids couldn’t care less.

Yeah, exactly: the first 3-4 birthdays are really more for the parent and the child.

Some people are taking the principle of not hijacking someone else’s event (like a wedding) to your own news (engagement, pregnancy, etc.) and taking it to an illogical extreme. (wwplkyih)


This is the definition of first world problems.

There’s a freaking war going on in another part of the world and babies are dying. Yet OP’s friends found a way to make her feel bad about a cute family moment because they apparently don’t have any problems in life and are really that jobless.

Poor OP, a lovely family moment got converted into something she had to feel guilty about. (Ill-Inspector7980)


NTA. A 1-year-old’s birthday party is a party for the parents and the fact that they survived the first year. Announcing another baby on the way didn’t “steal” anything from the existing infant. (Illustrious-Shirt569)

Sadly, it seems that OP’s family were just looking for a way to put a dampener on her happy news and make her feel bad.

NTA. These people are literally looking for something to pick at you about. The kid is one year old. They’re not going to remember their birthday party. And if they hear about it later……so? Now if you’d done this when she was old enough to understand what a birthday is, or old enough to remember, sure, that’s not cool. It sounds to me like you were trying to do something cute and fun at the END of the party, when she’d had the whole party to be focused on her. And even after that, in the announcement, it was still kind of focused on her.

I say NTA. (otskaren_613)


“They said that when she hears about the party”…

I have literally never once talked about my kids’ first birthday parties. And they have not once asked about them. Because NO ONE CARES!

Plus that, I was visibly pregnant with my 2nd child at my first child’s 1st birthday. Did that ruin my first child’s birthday. 🙄

NTA (Scary-Laugh8461)

What do you think? Was it cute or tacky to announce the pregnancy and their daughter’s birthday party?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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