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People Share the Best Worst Pick-Up Lines They’ve Ever Heard

Spotting someone you find attractive in a bar or club and trying to strike up a conversation isn’t always easy, which is probably why pick-up lines were invented. Ranging from cheesy to cheeky, a well-timed one liner delivered with a sense of humour can be just the thing to break the ice. However, we’d advise you to use the following pick-up lines in real life with discretion, as one commenter wrote ‘these lines are only hilarious if the girl finds you attractive.’ Otherwise, they are just as likely to think you’re a giant creep and spend the remainder of the evening trying to avoid you. If nothing else though, reading through these might make you glad that you aren’t single! Enjoy!


A friend of mine picked up his now-wife by walking up to her group and asking who among them had low standards. (kamenRiderY)

Grab your coat, you’ve pulled. (rollioscopy)

A guy I know (kind of chubby, bit of a slob) went up to a chick at a party and casually slurred, “Hey baby, wanna make a big mistake?” One of my favorite lines I’ve ever heard. (isnessisbusiness)

I watched this one go down: Guy walks up to two girls, turns to one of them and asks “do you like to dance?”

The girl replies sheepishly “yeah..”

“Well can you go dance so I can talk to your friend?”

It worked. Girl storms off and her friend bites. I couldn’t fucking believe it. (NoGoddamnNamesLeft)

Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out. (robotwarlordelephant)


You remind me of a championship Bass.

I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you. (danman1232)


Is your name homework? ‘Cause I’m not doing you but I should be. (deleted)


“I’m no weatherman, but you can expect 2 inches tonight.” (HITMAN616)


There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off! (IranianGenius)


“Do you have any raisins?”
“Well how about a date?” (IranianGenius)


This is my favorite after a line has failed, for example: check the label on her shirt and drop the classic, ” just as I suspected, made in heaven!” When she rolls her eyes and begins to ignore you, you say ” you know, one day your kids are going to come up to me and ask me, dad, how did you meet mom? And I’m gonna have to tell them what a bitch you’re being right now” (greatbigc)


“So I recently learned that 93% of women masturbate in the shower, and the other 7% sing in the shower. Do you know what song they sing?”


“Well I guess you’re part of the 93%” (WhopperNoPickles)


Are you my big toe? Because I would bang you against every piece of furniture in my apartment. (way_fairer)

If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable. (Tom_Bombadilll)


Can i take a picture of you so I can show Santa Clause what I want for Christmas? (BrooklynGamer)


You know what blows women away? Magic. I’ll teach you.

Carry a pen around with you. Make sure it’s a pen that works well; you don’t want to be caught out without a nice pen. When you see a woman you like at the bar, tell her “here. Let me show you something.” Grab a napkin and take out your pen. This is where it gets tricky. Draw a line onto the napkin, and hand it to her. She’ll ask “what’s this?”

“A pick up line.”

Magic. (IranianGenius)


“I think I’ve seen your picture somewhere before. Oh yeah, that’s right. It was in the dictionary next to ‘KABLAM'” – The Fresh Prince. Guaranteed to work every time. (arkn57)


As you approach the girl you are gonna try to impress with your outstanding wit, visibly lick your finger and dab it on her clothes.

Then you drop the best line of all time:

“How about we go back to my place and get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold” (Alan153)

This has worked for me on 2, out of 3 occasions. Make sure you have $10 on you, and some friends at the bar/club/party, etc… then go up to said beautiful woman, and say: Hey, my friends bet me 10 bucks i couldn’t ask out the cutest girl here, wanna buy drinks with his money? 😉 (beanieofreddit)


Go up to a girl and ask her to feel your shirt. Once she feels your shirt ask her if she knows what it’s made of. No matter what her answer is tell her the shirt is made of “boyfriend material”

Another is to go up to a girl, hold out your hand and ask “will you hold this while I go for a walk?” (no_name_face)


“Girl, are you irish?

Because my penis is Dublin.”

This one worked a treat on St Paddy’s day (a_sponge)


This one needs a wingman and is a bit intricate but…

After finding that special someone, preferably at a club, you approach them. You start by presenting yourself and being nice in general. Then you point to a friend of yours (it works better if he’s uglier than you) standing like ten meters away. You say: “That is my friend X, and he’s a bit shy… He has always had problems talking to girls so he sent me, and as the good friend I am had to approach you so he could get the answer to this question that has been on his mind all night…” “What?” Smile and say: “He wonders if you think that I’m attracitve.”

BOOM! Has worked for me, like… a half time. (Ziether)


looks at watch “you’re not wearing underwear right are you? Cause my magic watch is telling me that you’re not wearing underwear right now”

“I’m definitely wearing underwear right now”

“oh. Must be fifteen minutes fast” (heyyousup)


It’s a good thing I got my library card… cuz I’m checking you out 😉 (flyin_i)


“Wow, you’re so beautiful I can’t even look at you!” Turn around and start hitting on her friend. It’s worth a laugh at least. (rolytron)


“Feel this” whilst rubbing your sleeve
When she asks what she is feeling…
“That’s boyfriend material” (MashedHair)


“Do you work for UPS?” Generally, they respond that they don’t. “Because I swear you were checking out my package”. I have actually used that many times. If anything, it’s a great ice breaker. Just make sure you smile to let her know you’re playing. Most women are not impressed by pick-up lines, but they love a good sense of humor. Of course, be prepared to follow up with actual conversation or you will look like a jackass. Apparently I said that line to a girl one time when very drunk and didn’t remember. A few weekends later, she saw me and said the line to me! As far as I knew, I’d never met her. That led to talking for hours and she ended up coming home with me. (vagine_diplomat)

What’s the best worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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