20 Hilarious ‘Things I Believed as a Kid’
When you are a child, learning about the world, and the finer points of the English language, it’s easy to misunderstand, or come to the wrong (and in hindsight, quite hilarious) conclusions. I’d bet there a few of us who didn’t at some point think that the moon or the sun was following us – y’know, only us – ‘cos we were kind of a big deal! Right?
Check out my top 20 hilarious ‘things I believed as a child’ as found on Reddit.
- As a kid, I thought people quit smoking by eating slices of cold turkey.
- As a kid I thought when music faded out, the musicians were slowly walking backwards away from their microphones.
- As a kid I believed that when you turned off a VHS tape the characters of the movie would just hang out and wait for you to watch the tape again.
- As a kid, I got very upset when I didn’t see the Care Bears living above the clouds on my first plane ride.
- As a kid, I thought I was feeding fish in the ocean by putting food down the sink.
- As a kid, I thought the world was in black and white, and it suddenly came into color one day, and that’s why we have black and white pictures along with color pictures.
- As a kid, I believed that banks had a safe for each of their clients to physically store all their money in, and that money withdrawn from ATMs traveled directly from your safe via tubes.
- As a kid I thought the number on the shoes represent the speed of the shoes, and not the size.
- When I was a kid, I thought that the huge, billowing pillars of steam from the local steel mills were clouds, and that the mills were actually cloud factories.
- As a kid, I believed that teachers just lived at school.
- As a kid, I believed that I could hum loud enough to make everything around me shake, but I was just making my eyes vibrate a little.
- As a kid, I believed that the fax machine actually transported your document to its destination.
- As a kid, when people talked about skyscrapers, I thought they were talking about F-16 jets because when they flew by I thought the planes were scraping the sky.
- As a kid, I thought there must have been some kind of tiny camera built into child-proof caps that could tell whether it was a kid or a grown up that was opening it.
- As a kid I used to think “in a few years I will be older than my big brother, then I will beat him up.”
- As a kid, I thought that a fire drill was literally a drill that shot fire
- As a kid, I thought when you went inside an elevator, people changed the floor really quickly for you and then you saw different things on the same floor.
- As a kid I believed thunder was angels spilling their wheelbarrows of potatoes.
- As a kid, when I lost one of my action figures I thought that he had come to life and wandered off.
- As a kid I thought “prosecute” and “execute” were the same thing, and that Woolworths would kill shoplifters.
How many of them can you relate to? What is the funniest thing you believed as a child?
Jolene
Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.
