As if I don’t have enough to worry about trying to fight the ageing process and warding off laughter lines, crows feet, bingo wings, knickles (knee wrinkles) but now I must apparently add cleavage wrinkles to my list of beauty-fading paranoia.
Apparently, being a feotal position sleeper I have extra cause for concern. Whilst I sleep my breasts are partying beneath the sheets, rubbing together causing unsightly cleavage crevices.
What I NEED…apparently, is a cleavage pillow.
I kid you not!
That’s right. Split the twins up and put an end to their nightly shenanigans.
But of course, you can maintain your youthful appearance around your throat and declotage area if you cover yourself in this cream first.
Why it has to look like a sperm sample from King Kong I have no idea. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it was formulated by a man. We are supposed to believe ladies, that tadpole shaped solutions can work wonders on our skin! Nice try boys, but I ain’t buying it.
What will they think of next?
Will I soon also need a buttock separating pillow to stop my buttocks rubbing and causing uncontrollable butt-sagging resulting on a wobble measuring a 3 on the sphincter richter scale?
Will I soon be required to wrap, strap, slip, slop and slap my limbs and appendages before nodding off for the evenng?
Come on ladies. Let’s put our heads together. What other weird and wonderful inventions can we come up with to make each other insecure about our fading beauty?