In-Laws Ask Grieving Wife for Her Late Husband’s Sperm So They Can Create and Raise Their Own Grandchild
A grieving woman has reached out for advice after she was approached by her late husband’s parents wanting to take possession of his sperm so they can create and raise their own grandchildren.
Possibly reacting out of pure grief two weeks after their only child’s death, the request was put to his wife by his parents in the hopes that they could continue his legacy. It was assumed that they would hire a surrogate for the process.
“When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, we froze his sperm so we could have children via insemination even after chemotherapy,” the woman writes. “His parents were very involved in his treatment and were aware that we were doing this. His treatment was unfortunately unsuccessful, and he passed away on July 19th.
“His parents asked me if I was considering being inseminated with his sperm, and I said no. Then they asked me if I could transfer ownership of the sperm to them, so they could use it to have grandchildren. I assume they’re planning on hiring a surrogate for this, but I’ll admit I was so surprised and confused I didn’t actually ask,” she continues.
“My gut reaction was that this is wrong and exploitative and not what my husband would have wanted. We froze his sperm because we wanted to raise a family together and freezing his sperm seemed like a better option than adopting or using a sperm donor, not because he wanted to give his parents grandkids or just put his DNA out into the world for the sake of it.
“I’m also confused about who they expect to raise this child or children, as they’re both in their 60s. The surrogate? One of their nieces or nephews? My husband had no siblings, and I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it. It feels like they just want their bloodline to continue without any thought to the practicality of it.”
The widow also mentioned that her parents-in-law were angry with her for refusing their request.
Obviously, there is a lot of pain and anguish involved here. Any parent would be utterly distraught at losing their only child and any chance of having grandchildren. Their request is awful and shocking, but also heartbreaking if you can understand where it’s coming from — pure grief at the loss of their son and a future filled with the love and joy of grandchildren.
We feel sorry for all parties involved and hope that they can reach out for support in the difficult months ahead.