Have you ever been around a couple and instinctively known for certain that they were doomed for splitsville? Maybe it’s the way they roll their eyes at each other, or the overly loved up way they try to present to people in public that tells you that they won’t last the distance. One Reddit user recently asked ‘What is the most obvious sign a couple won’t last?’ and some of the answers are pretty spot on!

The more you try to convince social media you’re an amazing couple the less I believe it.

I’ve never known an emotionally secure couple who did this. (Radarsteddybear4077)

Their communication just doesn’t improve over time. Being in my first real healthy relationship I’ve realized that both people need to be committed to their individual and collective growth to create a fulfilling, healthy relationship. If one or both people aren’t trying and make a habit of withholding their true thoughts and make no effort to make the small changes to eventually meet the other half way, it’s inevitable. (GodsBleedToo)

“Having a kid will bring us closer together and things will get better.” (ConversationLeast902)

They casually show signs that they don’t respect each other: it can be a lot of eye rolling, mocking, condescending laugh, casually saying “you’re so stupid”, embarrassing in front of friends… (smolbibeans)

One does not listen when one talks. (New-Bonus5383)

Look at their face when they get a phone call from the other person. Tells you all you need to know. (No-Conclusion8653)

attempting to transform the other person in its entirety. Never succeeds. (NoUnderstanding5215)

Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling: the four horsemen (MeanOldGranny)

Lack of trust. Not necessarily about the big stuff (fidelity, money, your real name), but namely in basic, everyday communication.

If one or both partners is constantly questioning what the other person meant, or are constantly looking for reasons to get offended or taken aback by what the other says, it doesn’t bode well for the long-term prospects.

As a witness, you can feel the underlying tension when they interact. The stress of it all usually leads to resentment, and dissolution of the relationship. (Dr_Wristy)

One says sorry all the time and the other doesn’t. (TheChubbyPlant)

Back in the day, Joint Facebook accounts. (Sir_Atlass)

• • when they don’t defend or support each other in public
  • when they make fun of their partner in a cruel way (Stock-Minute1218)

Calling each other ugly names and saying hurtful things during a fight. I still hear the hurtful things an ex has said to me. No amount of apologizing and “I didn’t mean it” will stop that reel from replaying in my head. (StraddleTheFence)

One or both people use the relationship to feel “whole” or “fulfilled”. A healthy relationship is something you add TO your life, not something you use to FIX your life. (East_of_Amoeba)

They thrive on drama . It may last a couple years because they enjoy the fighting but they’re not gonna be married for 40 + years. (Jackster7917)

When they can’t laugh with/at each other and share no inside jokes. Seriously, I could not imagine having an unfunny partner… We laugh hard at least once a day, still after 18 years together.. humor is everything as relationships get on in years. (South-Designer9585)

The price of the wedding. Apparently, studies have shown an inverse relationship between the cost of the wedding and the duration of the marriage. (AncientDradonn)

They move very quickly. They met just weeks ago and they’re already getting an apartment together and playing house. (nyliram87)

The most obvious sign to me is whether each individual in the relationship is the exact same person with their partner as they are without. When I see that someone is funnier, or more relaxed, or any other slight change in personality when they’re not with the partner, I know they aren’t meant for each other. Think about it. (Illustrioua_String50)

The relationship started with cheating. (Gijustin)

What would you add to the list?