Best Friend Steals Baby Name From Friend Who Can’t Have Children
A woman was devastated to learn that her best friend stole her secret girl’s name despite the fact she will probably never have children of her own. Did the friend do the right thing or should she have steered clear of the name?
*Karen had confided in her friend *Paula that she always dreamed of becoming a mum (even though it was unlikely to happen) and even had a name picked out. Isabella, or Bella for short. It was a family name that had belonged her grandma, great grandma and great great-grandma. It’s safe to say it meant a lot to her.
Imagine Karen’s surprise then when Paula announced that her baby daughter’s name was Isabella! It had taken 5 years for Karen to come to terms with the fact she may never become a mum but that didn’t stop her from dreaming.
“When I was 27 I was told I had health issues that I won’t get into here, but means not only is it a bad idea for me to give birth to a child in case they inherit it, but raising an adopted or surrogate child is likely not wise either as my health has degraded ever since,” she wrote on Reddit.
“I put aside my dreams of having a child and of using that name,” she added. “I was of course happy for her. Did it hurt to see her living out what I always wanted? Of course it did, but I wasn’t going to be bitter about it. I wanted her to be happy. Then I saw the name of the baby when they announced the birth… Isabella.”
“Of course I know she has the right to name her child whatever she wants, but still, this was a name she’d known I’d had picked out for most of my life. She didn’t see the issue and told me she’d always thought the name was pretty and since I wasn’t using it, she didn’t think it would matter. It was more than a name to me. It represented my family and now her child is a reminder of what I won’t have.”
Paula told Karen she was overreacting and said it was “just a name”.
“The fact I didn’t know about it until the child was registered was on purpose and an underhanded move from her so I couldn’t protest. Had she asked to use the name I likely wouldn’t have said no, though I’d have been a little upset by the scenario at first.”
Commenters on Reddit we’re divided in their opinions. some said Karen didn’t own the name while others agreed it was a shitty move.
“I’m really sorry for your complications and that you might not get your baby, but you have to realise you don’t own the name,” one person said.
“Maybe one day you will have your child and you can name her Isabella. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you,” another offered.
“You’re hurting, it’s clear to see. But you can’t blacklist names for your friends,” another person said. “Even if you were able to have a child and give them the name, it wouldn’t matter if your friend used the name. Everyone is entitled to be able to give their child a name they feel connected to.”
“I’m very sorry that you’ve gone through some stuff. I likely cannot have children either, and every little thing concerning pregnancy and babies feels like another needle in the heart. Be kind to yourself”.
“Her saying, ‘You won’t be using the name now,’ and then seeming to hide what she named her child from you after she used it makes you not the a**hole,” another person added.
What do you think?
*not their real names.