Any mother who has ever breastfed will tell you that it’s not always a pleasant experience, particularly in the beginning when your baby feeds often and you end up with sore, cracked nipples. Which is why, when you are in the comfort of your own home, it’s nice to let go of the shackles of a nursing bra and free your tatters! One woman who has been embracing a braless lifestyle at home while she nurses her new baby has been met with criticism and concern from her husband.
I am a new mom who’s breastfeeding and taking care of a household. I get very little free time and have very few moments to myself. There is always some laundry to do, a meal to cook, or some household chores. My husband thinks that because I am home right full time with the babies, I should have plenty of time for all these things.
Here is the conflict. It is hard to find or put on clothes when a baby needs constant attention. So, sometimes I will just wear a robe or throw on some bottoms or just skip clothes all together. Hell, sometimes this cuts down on the amount of laundry. Plus, it gives me easy access to feed the baby and easy to clean if a mess happens. I find this to have caused me to gain some free time and to lessen my stress.
Then my husband come home and is all on me about proper attire. I am like, “how about you be grateful I figured this stuff out.” I found what works for me and when you stay home you can figure out what works for you. Then he is like what if the house catches fire and you have to run outside, or the package delivery person rings the bell, or somebody peeps through the window? I told him that I promise I can handle all those situations with style and grace. If somebody works or goes that far out of their way to see a naked mom breastfeeding, then have fun. And at least take the trash to the curb for me or mow the lawn. He didn’t laugh.
So, AITAH or is he being way to overprotective?
Sidenote: Now he is talking about breast support and healing benefits of certain garments. 🙄
As people in the comments pointed out, by the man’s reasoning they’d never be safe to be naked.
Nta. Are you expected to always be in clothes? What happens if the house catches fire and you’re in the shower. Should you be wearing a wet suit. (Sad_Explanation_3961)
And what if their house catches fire while they’re having sex?
NTA. I assume your husband sleeps in a full suit complete with shoes and has an emergency suitcase by the bed with valuables and pictures for when the house catches fire while he’s sleeping. (life1sart)
Commenters suggested that he might change his tune if he had a taste of how hard and time-consuming it is to care for a newborn on your own all day, never mind perform all the other household tasks whilst also recovering from childbirth.
Your husband should take 2 weeks off and be the sole caregiver and house manager and then see how he feels about your amount of free time.
If he’s so concerned with your level of attire, perhaps HE should do all the laundry so you have ample available clothing. Otherwise, he can STFU and be grateful you put yourself through the agony and torture that is pregnancy and birth.
Edited to add: I can almost guarantee that his concern with breast support and the healing nature of certain garments has nothing to do with your healing or comfort and everything to do with him seeing your breasts as sex-objects that he doesn’t want to get saggy. Men have a hard time realizing that sweater hams are food sources for babies and do not exist to please them. He must not be aware that having babies makes boobs saggy after a while. Bras don’t prevent that. Me and my DDs can attest to that.
Hang away, my friend. Let them be free. (Impressive_Pea_3435)
And he isn’t being overprotective.
He is controlling, unreasonable and silly.
I hate to break it to him but most new moms (and old moms) spend their days in pajamas, yoga pants or some other from of sleepwear. It is comfortable, doesn’t matter if it gets thrown up on or pooped on and if someone wants to see me naked then they should have at it.
I think you should leave Mr Know it All home alone for a couple of days with the baby. Go check into a hotel and let him see in person how much work this is since he thinks you should have plenty of time. (Applesbabe)
Other people thought that it was laughable that he was giving her advice about breast health considering he’s never had a pair of his own!
NTA. Breast support? Does he always wear a jock strap? Look, you do what is comfortable for you. If he wants to breastfeed and stay at home with the baby, then he can decide what clothes to wear while he’s doing it. (HoneyWyne)
NTA. I laughed out loud when I read your husband is now telling you about breast support etc. That sounds like manipulation. When he grows breasts and has to feed an infant the he can make his ridiculous comments. Even then there’s personal preference.
Idk how old your baby is but if your husband thinks that since you’re physically at home then everything should be done then he’s off his rocker.
My ex was like this. The first time he spent a couple hours alone with our first baby he thought he was going to get some work done and the baby would just sleep or sit there. I got home like two hours later to my husband all surprised saying he could t get anything done! It didn’t matter how I explained that babies are time consuming. And even after that experience he claimed I did nothing all day.
I sure hope your husband is better than mine was! (Dazzling_Note6245)
I was actually recommended by my hospital to have my boobs out to make them less sore from breastfeeding.. and it helped.
The overall consensus was that pyjamas or going topless in the privacy of your own home was perfectly acceptable, and probably even preferable for a breastfeeding mum.
NTA. Hooooooney, you’re doing so well, you’re doing the motherhood thing and I can wholeheartedly say that your baby much prefers you available than dressed. My best friend had her baby just over a year ago. Girls in pjs the majority of the time. So is kiddo. She has a large chest and when she was breastfeeding she just freeboobed it. It was easiest to do so. Newborn infants don’t like waiting to be fed. Now she’s onto bottles but that also doesn’t mean my best friend has to get fully dressed. And neither do you.
Who cares? Who the heck is peeping through windows? That’s not such a common occurrence that it justifies his opinion. You can pretty much guess when a delivery man is going to turn up, people tend to book deliveries. I’m not even going to touch on the house catching afire. That’s batshit.
And I’m rolling my eyes SO hard at your edit.. good lord, has he always been this way? He sounds ridiculous. (thebearofwisdom)
What do you think? Is her husband’s request that she remain clothed at home around their baby justified, or does he need to get over his weird hang up about nudity?